yea, it was my birthday last may 23rd :)

for all those who greeted thank you!

for all those who didn't, try again next year xD

so, i had a couple of awesome friends over at my house

i got two cakes from them!

how awesome is that?






EDIT [JUNE 20, '08]

the script above was written by me last May 25th i think

wow. i seemed like such a happy person back then

it's just been a month and A LOT had changed

before i get into the details, let me brief you guys about the stuff that had happened before all the college explanation thingy starts

so, my familia and I always went to the Mall of Asia every weekend of May to watch the World Pyro Olympics

i would have posted pics of the awesome photos i got during the display but i dont feel like it

next time maybe

anyway, back to whatever shiz

COLLEGE

sheesh :

i dunno why i feel so blah about it

everyone says that college is going to be the FUNNEST school experience shiz you'll have in your life

great, you call this happy?

i mean, i dunno why i always feel so SS after school

SABAW AND SABOG

maybe it's because i don't get to eat that much because of the bazillion hungry students occupying the caf

inittt paaaaa

plus i have to wake up really early AGAIN

sorry for the bitterness but i guess that's part of the adjusting thing

i HATE change

and i don't like myself for hating it

it's just making everything worse 'cause the only thing that doesn't change in this world is CHANGE

so, it's like practically saying that i hate life

but wait

no, i dont hate change

change is awesome, but only if we change for the better, right?

sooooooooooooooo,

i may sound like a brat for being so whiny about it but i don't know

i guess i stil have to wait until that 'happiest' part of college arrrives

i miss my friendssssssssssssssssssssssss

one thing i don't like the most about being in a new environment is that i'm still not myself

wala pa ung sobrang hyper and carefree bea

that's me.

i dont open up to new people that fast

like, i have to have the assurance that im gonna be good enough or something

and here i am, trying to blog about it, hoping that it will make a difference in the state that i am now

there was even a time when i just went home from school and just cried all night

no reason

well, there maybe reason but i just can't point my finger at it

but im pretty sure that it's about how i am so disappointed with myself

well, as for now, all i can do is sit and hope that this won't last for too long




wake up slow

i was watching House a while ago and remembered Dr. Wilson saying about the 'four levels of happiness' he was trying to explain House about

curiosity go the best of me that i started to search about the levels of happiness as soon as i finished that particular episode

here's what i got:

Four Levels of Happiness


Happiness Level 1:
The first and most basic level of happiness comes from things outside ourselves and involve one or more of the five senses. The pleasure they give is immediate and direct such as eating an ice cream cone, buying a brand new car, going on vacation. Their pleasure is short lived and intermittent. They must be replaced by yet another ice cream cone, or new car, or vacation. Until such replacements take place our happiness is on hold.

Happiness Level 2:
The second level of happiness involves the ego. (Ego is Latin for I) This kind of happiness comes whenever I am in control, the focus of attention, the object of admiration, whenever I see myself as superior to others. Hence, whenever I win, gain power, am admired, or gain popularity I feel happy and pleased with myself. My ego has been affirmed. That which I think is the most important thing in the world (me) has received approval.

Happiness Level 3:
The second level of happiness is not totally satisfying. There is something missing. Humans also desire love, truth, goodness/justice, beauty, and being. These desires are often expressed in acts of charity—seeking cures, being concerned with one’s neighbor, making sacrifices, forgiving personal injuries. We want to make the world a better place and so we offer our lives, time, energy, and talent for the welfare of others. Our happiness, we learn, cannot be separated from the happiness of others. The common good is an integral part of our personal happiness.

Happiness Level 4:
Even the third level of happiness does not exhaust the scope of human desire. Humans are pulled by their desire for the sublime, something beyond their imagination, beyond their complete understanding. To be sure, they desire love, goodness, truth, beauty, and being as they experience them in the world; but they also desire these in their perfected and unlimited form. Those of faith recognize this as their desire for God. For those having no faith, they can treat this as an awareness of a seemingly unconditional horizon surrounding human curiosity, creativity, spirit, and achievement.

source: http://www.lifeprinciples.net/happinesschart.html


if you ask me which level of happiness i'm in, i'd give you a blank stare

i fell tired, exhausted and anxious about...

here's the fun part:

dun dun dun dun




nothing

this is a letter from to someone that's been very special to me


dear someone,

gosh, i can't believe we haven't been together for almost half a year now. many things had changed ever since you and i weren't keeping in touch. sometimes, i feel like i'm missing a lot lately because i don't have you to run to, especially when i'm bored at home. you always seem to complete my day just by being you. now that summer's about to end and still, we haven't been in touch, i realized how much i missed spending time with you. you always had a way to make me smile even if my day hadn't been so great. sometimes, i even blame myself for being so irresponsible before which generally 'caused this gap between us. but don't worry, i can feel that the time that we will be together again is coming. we just have to wait, i guess.

much love,
bea






sooo, anyone guessed for who this letter is?

well, it's for...






photoshop!

yes, i know, pathetic

but i really do miss it!

what can i say, the software got me :)

okay, i'm really sounding soooo stupid right now

but hey,

i got you to think that i was talking about a person!

right?


RIGHT

im feeling it

really feeling it

college

damn

too soon man, too soon

i was soooo panicking at the mall yesterday, thinking about all the stuff i need for college

we almost went to every store that sells bags, and nothing seemed to be right for college

i'm even panicking on which PE to choose

Futsal? Soccer? Softball? Fencing?

BALLROOM DANCING!

xD

:/

eff. wait. mosquitoes are biting my legssssss

see, all of our windows are open, even the blinds are pulled up

dont know why really

well, it's almost 10

and you know what that means!

aircon time

haha!

yea, we're disciplined with using the aircon like that

anyway


i joined this online social network for freshateneans

you know, just to socially prep me up for future schoolmates

anyway

i really feel so BLAH today

must be all the chocolates & the chocolate syrup i ate while watching House



i swear, if chocolates were drugs, we wouldn't have soooo many at home

wait

let's say that again

if chocolates were drugs, i'd be on O.D.

using medical acronyms, effects of watching too much House

okay! differential analysis everyone! [if you're a House fan, you'd know what i mean :)) ]

anyway

there was an episode about Rabies and man, did it bring back memories

and they showed the really ginormous injection they use for patients with rabies

now im getting sentimental

and now i'm not

oh! there was this funny 82 year old lady in House who was having the Cupid's something that's eating her brain up

that Cupid hormone thing, it's like phyllis or something, actually increases the sexual attraction of a person

anyway, im bored. i can't remember what i watched



oh yea, the movie 21 seems interesting

really cute guy on the front

got to goooooo



anyway

a cousin dropped by at our house this day for about 4 hours ago to do some errands

after scanning all the pictures she needed, she tried studying for her exam tomorrow but ends up not doing so xD

anyway, she let us borrow her House cd for season 1 & 2

i always wanted to watch House 'cause of their short commercials in Star World

too bad, i really don't get to catch the schedules for its airtime

it was exciting for me to finally get to watch House on dvd

no commercials, no wait-for-a-week-for-the-new-episode, repeat favorite scenes etcetera, etceteroo



anyway, House was awesomeeeee

one of those shows wherein you can learn about science and humor

how's that! [excuse the pun, couldn't help it]

plus, i can watch it with my parents and make them think i'm insanely smart xD

unlike gossip girl and probably, most of the shows that i watch that i can never watch with my parents and say this is my favorite show!

no offensse though, gossip girl is amazingly entertaining [if you know what i mean xD]

wow, that sounded pervertedly wrong

anyway, House is like a big angular blob filled with intelligence, sarcasm, common sense and humor

it really makes you think!

like, how the hell were they able to get the newborn baby to act like she was having a seizure?!

anyone who saw that episode? tell me that wasn't crazy

that's some pretty amazing casting for a newborn baby

i know there are many House fans out there, considering it's the 2nd most watched show in America

wowness

ew. i can't believe i just used wowness as a word.

anyway, i'm off to find a place to sleep in since my cousin is sleeping on my place xD

with tons of review papers all over the bed

good thing i'm not going to UP for college xD




that's absurd. i like it.

i told you in my previous post that me and my brother went to Galleria last wednesday

well, when we got tired of strolling around the mall, i suggested that we try to eat Crepes

see, i've heard & watched about crepes but i haven't really tried it

so when opportunity comes, i go get it!

we ate at Crazy Crepes where they had crepe displays na nakakalaway xD

i found some pics in the internet that kinda looks like what they had:




i was kind of weirded out on the thought of eating it.

they do look quite hard to eat

we ordered after 10 minutes of deciding which flavor of crepe to get

too much flavors to choose from!

some have ice cream in them, fruits, corn flakes, and even tuna!

after ordering, my brother had a funny conversation with the crazy crepe people

brother: *orders & pays*
CC person: name po sir?
brother: Ralf.
cc person: okay po sir, hintayin nalang po ung order niyo sa table :)
brother: pwede manood? pa'no niyo ba ginagawan 'yan?
cc person: ahh, sige po sir. nood nalang kayo. :))

xD

i dunno why but i was laughing that time

then he was commenting on everything that the CC person does while making the crepes

anyway

i was quite shocked when they served it like an ice cream cone

btw, that's not my hand. i just found this pic on the internet xD

sooo, it looked like that

after eating the top part i was like

"paano ko kakainin ung iba nakaharang ung paper!"

then my brother found out that there was a tear here thing on the paper so you can take some of the paper off to eat the rest of the crepe

anyway, crepes are reallyyyyyy gooooddddddd

they taste like really thin, slightly wet pancakes

O___________O

anyway, i'm off to improve my multiply page!

peeezz awt!

craziest two days of my life these past few days that's why i havent been blogging much lately

Tuesday

me and my brother went to the doctor to get my freaking medical form finished

my dad had to go to a seminar so we had to commute to go there

:/

nooooo!


if there's one thing i hate the most, it's crossing the streets

man, it's like you're inside an arcade game, trying to dodge all the cars on the streets without getting killed

difference is that in games, you get to have 3 lives

here, you have one

geez, horrific

plus, hailing for a taxi isn't easy too

we stood there for like an hour for a taxi

anyway, nothing interesting

we had to go to St. Luke's the day after that 'cause i wasn't able to get my X-ray films

Wednesday

i had to wake up extra early 'cause i had to ride with my mom to get to St. Luke's

wow, traffic in the morning is craaaazy

imagine if there were classes, still

my cousin was driving the car and man, was it a ride

i swear, he can like join the amazing race or something and win

nothing interesting anyway

yawn

then we went to Ateneo to finally pass the freaking medical form

wow, load off the chest

it's like vacation all over again!

after that, me and my brother went to our uncle's condo to bum around while waiting for our cousin to fetch us

we eventually went to Galleria

which also meant crossing the roads again

it was crazy again

i kept shouting wait! wait! to my brother whenever we crossed the streets

we had to cross that whole street for like 4 times, going back and forth from the condo

after our last crossing, me and my brother kept laughing so hard about how bad i was in crossing the road

anyway, bored. must elaborate on posts later :)

weeee!

this blog got into the semi finals for Candy Blog Awards '08

my blog's under: BEST BLOG NAME

as: overused pencils

if you like my blog name, then give it 30 seconds from your time and vote for it! :D

you can vote for it here

let me know if you do so i can give you the gratitude that you deserve! :)

Parlez-vous anglais?

that's 'do you speak english?'in French

anyway, as the title goes:

VOILA!

merci chocolates!

have you guys tried merci chocolates?

i have.

in fact, i ate at least 30 sticks of it these past few days

i think depression as gotten away with me

or maybe it's because of my mom buying 16 boxes of it last Saturday

well, at least we gave away a dozen of those to my relatives

and left 4 boxes with us

we went to mall of asia last saturday and incidentally got to watch the World Pyro Olympics showed that day

it was raining extra hard that night but i guess the show must go on, as they frequently say

i might upload some vids of the fireworks later this day 'cause my phone's not with me right now

it never was with me for like a week already

anyway,

i actually figured out a lot of things about me and my life in a span of two days

• i actually like Barney. i mean, i do not get how many people claim that they 'hate' Barney and all. I guess it's got something to do about his looks. Barney's actually a pretty dinosaur if you ask me. That ginormous purple fluff of love. My brother and I went to Toy Kingdom last Saturday and realized how we wanted a giant Barney stuffed toy, and guess what, we're planning to actually save to buy that Barney toy.

• Celebrations aren't my family's thing. I dunno, it's just that we're not a big fan of celebrating stuff. Not having a cake for my birthday for the last 2 years, i think, is pretty normal. You guys might think that we live a sad life if what i have said is so, but i guess it's because we don't' need to 'celebrate' or 'party' to acknowledge that we're happy or something. Or i guess that's just us being cheap. But, we do 'celebrate' but not in a way that most of you guys probably think of.

• The rest of your life is being shaped right now, with the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time, and the rest of your life starts now. I got that from One Tree Hill, which i am recently watching. It made me realize that with what i am doing right now, i might be throwing my life away. see, i was supposed to go to the doctor last sunday for my college medical form, but i watched tv and slept. my dad gave me another chance to go today, but it figures, i'm still at home. i didn't want to wake up this morning. stubborn stubborn. my dad called while i was sleeping and talked to me. he said that i wasn't giving college the priority that i should be giving it. truth is, i failed to go to the doctor today 'cause i was afraid to wander in the hospital alone, trying to figure out what i'm supposed to do. my dad told me that i was supposed to take responsibility for what i was doing. now, after watching that One Tree Hill episode, i realized that i may be throwing away what i still don't have. it's a good thing the doctor's going to be available tomorrow to give me another chance. i guess i can make the Thursday deadline after all.

ARGH!

after making such a long post,

and accidentally deleting all of it

auto freaking save comes over and saves the blank post

gahhhhhhhhh




i hate you blogger!!!

DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!

it's 1:30 am and i just finished watching the latest gossip girl episode

and

i really wish i didn't finish watching it tonight

now i am all freaked out by what happened

especially the last part

okay, i'll try not to spoil anything but...

Serena told Blair about her 'secret'

and when she finally told Blair the secret

the background music stopped and this loud THUD came on

and some freaky ass music plays in the background

my heart freaking stopped

i mean, cant you guys do it subtly?!

you just Had to put on the crazy ass music and all the 'thud' thing

im soooooooo freaking scared

and until now, my insides are still shaking of the scary way they revealed the secret

damn

im sooooooooooo scared

i cant sleep

waaaaaahhhhhhhhh

damn gossip girl!

now i feel like someone's....


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:((

nooooooo

i dont know what to do nowwwwwwwwwww

:(((((((((((((((((((((((

im freaking scared to like walk in a dark room now

damn it Serena!

her make up! the dark room! HER FACE! THE MUSIC!

it's horrific!

it's like the song that just makes you wanna get up and start slapping your television for playing it while saying

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

now i am as terrified as i was when i was in grade 6 after i saw The Ring

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

T______________________________T

sleepless nights, here i come

so i went out with camille today

played a little guitar hero II

i kinda sucked at first

but after some practices, i thought i slightly got the hang of it

my wrist hurt though so i had to stop before i get a fracture

anyway, we hed on out to shang to go frolick around and watch Iron Man

highlight of the movie?

the hot 46 year-old actor of iron man

ROBERT DOWNEY JR!

damn

scorching

yea, i know, 43? ew. DOM much?

what?!

Johnny Depp's older and tons f girls swoooooon over him

he's my version of Johnny Depp ;)

i'm gonna tell you what was going on on my mind while watching the movie

'damn. this man's [yes, man] so hot. i don't really like OLD guys but damn. sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy'

yes, i was molesting a man in my thoughts xD

anyway, ew. some guy was sitting next to me at the cinema and he was soooooo gross

he burps really loud and chews really loud.

Gross. get another seat.

i mean, there were like 20 people in the cinema and they just had to seat next to us.

well, just my luck.

anyway,

i just realized that i really like mature men

like those guys who can actually live life

i dunno

the ones that know what they want

and are able to do what they like

and those who can be so clueless about their Social Security Number but can assemble a weapon that can destroy the earth and earns a billion bucks doing it

but refuses to do so because he doesn't want to continue 'cause he doesn't like the idea of having to hurt many people for it

OR

maybe it was his hair & the way that he was sooo cocky but actually had something to be proud about

sighhhhhh

he's like so laid-back & quick witted at the same time

he's the complete opposite of boring

he adds spice to anything

and he's game to do whatever

plus! he kinda wrote some of my favorite part of the movie

the cheeseburger scene!

fantastic!

it kinda went something like this:

Tony Stark comes home from being abducted and almost killed in Afghanistan

Tony Stark: Pepper, there's only two things i want: one is a cheeseburger and the other one is...

Pepper : do you mind?

Tony Stark: No, no. The other is a press conference.

it was only supposed to be 'pepper, schedule ma a press conference but Robert suggested 'spicing' it up

wow. amazingggggg. :)

he's charming

and he looks soooo sleek & clean

and he's so damn polite

AND [this is probably the 9th time i edited this post to add stuff abut him] he's acts like a kid or playful but is really mature and observant at the same time

and!!! [10th time] he sings well!

sighhhhhhhhhhhh

plus, he kinda looks like an older version of Jake Gyllenhaal of which i would soon be married to :)

too sexy for their shirts ♥_____♥


this is what you call, SMokin' hot! *drools*


see the resemblance?

see how i fantasize over old men? xD

im a fifteen year old girl,


SUE ME

i created 3 new accounts today

one for Digg, Twitter & Virb

hold on

let me just say that our laptop is so annoying

i have to like press 'O' really hard to make the key work

damn

mom, we need the new macbook NOW

i don't even know why we still use this laptop

it's like falling apart and all plus the drama that me and my brothers show should have convinced my mom to get a new laptop

but, as always, they always find some reason not to get one

one of the [well, i dont like calling my parents stupid] annoying reasons is that

something new is going to come out, so why not wait for that instead?

:/

yea, let's keep waiting and waiting until the whole evolution of technology comes to a halt

hmmm, that's going to be around...

never

another reason is that we're going to college and they're gonna have to spend a lot of money on it

well, blame the universities for having such high tuition fees

i dont WANT a new laptop, i NEED one

how ever will i survive in a computer course without a computer?

damn, i'm broke

and im going out tomorrow

damn damn damn

i can't ask money from both of my parents 'cause i kinda fought with both of them a while ago

and i hate fighting with them

sometimes i just really can't resist being all whiny so quickly

anyway, we went to church a while ago and had a church meeting thing

i was soooooooooo embarrassed when they flashed the pictures of the May celebrants in the ginormous projector screen and announce the names

when i knew that my picture was going to be flashed next,

i unconsciously ducked my head and switched my brain off for a good 10 seconds

yea, i can do that

it takes a lot of practice and timing skills to do that too

one thing that's itching though is that i wasnt able to know what picture of me they used

oops, my brother just set up the magic sing

i gotta go!


just once! can we find a way to finally make it right

yea,

so we didn't end up going to the doctor last saturday

they didn't have available meds for us that day so...

YEHEY! xD

but we still need to go back no matter what 'cause i have to give her the Medical form for the college thing

so, we were with our cousins eating in Cabalen almost the WHOLE afternoon

nalugi siguro ung Cabalen sa amin xD

hmmmm, fun as usual ;)

after that, we went to SM Megamall 'cause they were having a mall wide sale

i was super excited to shop

then we arrived :/

SUPERRRRRRRRR CROWDED

if there's one thing i really hate when going out, is going to a place that's mega crowded

one time, we went to Greenhills near closing time so there weren't alot of people there and i was able to browse at how cheap the stuff there were

so we decided to go back

then, I HATED IT

too many peopleeeeeeeee

so, when we went to SfreakingcrowdedM i tried to survive from the big mass of people roaming around

me and my mom decided to stop frolicking around with a thousand of people and get our hair trimmed

but when we got to the salon, a lot of people were there and i ended up shouting [yes, shouting]

ma! ang daming taooooo!

yes, i'm a whiny person when it comes to that issue

but since we were sooooo loved there [HAHAHA!]

we were accommodated first!

i told her to trim my hair & only cut off an inch off

but i ended up having short hair :/

plus, she gave me rough layers like the one for koreans now i look more korean than everrrrr :/

plus my hair is all puffy now 'cause of the rough layers :/

goodbye sleek, helloooooo puffy

oh yea, im still having a bad case of insomnia

i actually SAW the sunrise last saturday 'cause i couldn't sleep!

but we found a solution for that!

we bought...

MAGIC SING! xD

yes, the endless singing xD

well, it tires me when i sing so, it can help!

and it did help!

i was able to sleep at 1 am today 'cause of it!

what else

oh yea!

i bought this book called the 500 people you meet in hell

it's a parody of the book, Inferno by Dante Alighieri

it's a funny book and it's kind of comforting if you're feeling bad about somebody xD

plus i love the irony and sarcasm mixed with it

it even has a cool note at the back:

Warning: this is a fairly nasty book,
and it should be kept away from the
irony-challenged and anyone who takes things too literally

how awesome is that?

anyway, we bought New Moon 'cause my little brother wanted to start reading the Twilight series
i've read all three books ;)

since Twilight was still out of stock, i told him to buy New Moon first before it gets wiped out by the many fan girls of the series out there

oh yea, i love candy apples!

they are awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

you better try one!




so goooodddddd

ouch

we went to the hospital yesterday to have my medical check-up for college

damn

they sucked so much blood out of me

what's with me that attracts so much needles to go through my skin?

i mean, i just got a booster shot last week from our pedia

got blood sucked out of me for a blood exam

and tomorrow, we have to go back to the pedia for another booster shot

seriously, if i was a tire, i'm probably so dysfunctional right now

anyway, genie in the house is showing, better not miss it! ;)